Toxic relationships

Toxic relationships

The day before, he / she was sending you love letters, promising marriages and the next day you no longer exist, he/she tells me that “he no longer loves me and that I no longer exist for him / her.

This seems like a drastic change but in reality it is only on the surface, this is not really the case, in fact, the narcissist has been preparing this moment for a long time behind your back, so long before that, I discard it in if it happened he has already started a whole phase of preparation.

couple having a misunderstanding
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During this stage of preparation, he will have started to speak ill of you, to put you in a bad light with other people, his family, his friends of his other victims who still support him / her and in this manipulation, he will paint you as an extremely problematic, unstable person, maybe even with serious psychological problems or crazy and will paint himself instead, as the poor victim who tries in all possible ways, with all his will, to fix this relationship while you do not cooperate, because you are an extremely problematic person, extremely harmful, in this way he paints his prey. The others are already comforting him poor thing, “yes you have no other choice, you must necessarily let go of this terrible person, there is nothing left for you to do to avoid this great suffering that she / he is causing you.”

At this point he has therefore created his point of support, for when he will reject you, most likely he/she is also already looking for another prey, another companion, another partner, already has a relationship with him / her and maybe he/she is already starting a phase of love bombing which preparing a whole circle of his, to which he/she can return, once he/she has lost your narcissistic supply.
However, you must understand that with a narcissist, a breakup is not simply the end of a relationship as it is for a healthy person.

In fact, the gap in the case of the narcissist does not have the objective of ending the relationship, because he / she would like to keep you at his disposal for the future in case he succeeds in attracting you again.
But in the reasoning in the narcissistic reasoning, the reason for this action is to annihilate you. So he will do it in the cruellest way possible, to create the greatest suffering possible, on purpose because in this way he will have restored his narcissistic fantasy. in fact when he sees you destroyed you no longer exist, therefore you are no longer a danger to his narcissistic fantasy. Up to now you were questioning him / her, so choose this moment when maybe you are extremely vulnerable, maybe you feel bad or you just got out of the hospital, just had a big loss, right now there will be a big fight, always because of your conflicts and myths and it will climb to a very high level, or then the relationship itself will put itself in an extremely vulnerable position and you are in that position and therefore it will cut you clean.

photo of women about to kiss
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In this way, you are so overwhelmed by the shock factor and your already extremely vulnerable position that you will absolutely not have the strength to rebel while he / she will be able to get out without having to face his responsibility, in short, his narcissistic pain will go out. he is unharmed because he will have shown that you are the problem, that you are no longer a valid “prey”, but something that no longer has any value and at the same time, a circle of prey has already been prepared which instead confer his self-narcissistic view again.

You will experience this moment as extremely devastating, you will not be able to understand what just happened, a lightning bolt that just fell in your life. Until the day before she had a partner who you thought was a fallen God, the next day you are faced with a monster who behaved in the worst possible way. You feel terrible, because you were already very weak, you were also in a very vulnerable position in the relationship and plus you just got completely cut off in the cruellest way possible.
But I want you to understand that if you take this moment to your advantage, if you understand and use it to wake up, to open, to evolve, to expand, to grow, this is also your blessing and not only that, you must also understand that when this moment comes when the narcissist has discarded you this is your victory.

In reality this moment means that you are no longer a malleable person, that you are no longer a person who can be manipulated, harnessed, who can be stepped on. It means that you have become a person of integrity and that is why the narcissist has left you; because if he weren’t, all those things, he would still be looking for you, so this is the moment when you are actually starting to blossom, to be the person that you have always been inside of you and have never been able to have the courage to be. , contrary to what you are thinking, when it just happened, that is “oh my God I must have done something very serious” in reality nothing happened, you did nothing wrong and I assure you that the narcissist has absolutely not changed, he has simply changed scene, but he’s exactly the same person as before.

persons hands with rainbow colors
Photo by cottonbro on

He has learned absolutely nothing from your relationship, from the mistakes made with you, he is repeating his own play, certainly perfected but still always acting, with other people willing to play his game, contrary to appearances nothing has changed, it has not changed. nothing happened and you have done absolutely nothing wrong, indeed you have done something right, and that is precisely why he / she has gone, just because you have finally started not being a prey.

So this is your time to start your journey on yourself, this is your time to take your attention away from what was just an image of what you wanted to have, and was an image created on your weaknesses, to exploit you, to be able to manipulate you.
Let go of this picture, start seeing reality, which is the reasons why you first went into a toxic relationship and actually made up of all your traumas that you still have within you from childhood, from how you grew up, which led you to accept the unacceptable, to tolerate the intolerable and be with a person who treated you as an object.

After all, your time has come to begin your path of healing, of inner growth, and finally, to reborn the person that you have truly always been and that you have never had the chance to fully become. Therefore the narcissist’s moment of rejection, it was the beginning of your real life, your first step of victory and the beginning of the exploration of who you really are, and if you take this path I assure you that you will find within yourself strength, quality, love and compassion you never even imagined you had.

Love Narcisism Relationships