The lack of love

The lack of love

Many of the frustrations we experience today are the sign of an old wound that never healed, which represents the imprint of a need for love that has remained unfulfilled. This lack of love hides behind many masks; Those who have been the victim of a lack of love as a child will find it difficult as an adult to love themselves, regardless of the love received from another person, because they will continue to feel unloved, inadequate and not up to par even when the opposite is true.

The lack of love can lead to personality disorders that arise from the rejection of oneself, in fact, every change we experience comes from the acceptance of oneself, you can only improve if you accept your current condition, if you do not accept yourself you become rigid and prisoner of certain patterns and consequently you take yourself too seriously, ending up becoming your own worst judge. If this type of self-criticism is not constructive, it tends to sabotage you and the body will eventually rebel.

unrecognizable female meditating on grass in highlands on sunny day
Photo by Daniel Torobekov on

Psychosomatic illness

It arises precisely from the inability to express, recognize emotions as well as their own inner states, the non-acceptance in this case instead of coming to the surface and becoming awareness finds expression in the language of the body and then, if the emotions are not experienced, they manifest themselves through psychosomatic disorders that betray the fear of judgment. Those who fear the gaze of others, to the point of isolating themselves, are often just fleeing from themselves and so it happens that that lack of recognition, that lack of attention and that lack of love that characterizes childhood generating pain, are transformed into anger and feelings of injustice.

So it happens that the body suggests what is happening on an emotional level and it does so by sending precise signals that involve different physical parts, joint pains, back pain, shoulder contractures, chest pains, breathing difficulties, knees and ankles start to burn and this is no coincidence because the legs support the body and represent the metaphor of our autonomy.

Hence, the ability to believe in ourselves. Without a good rootedness on the legs, we feel as if suspended, we become fragile because we are not very centered on ourselves, consequently, others and their opinions become something extremely important, to the point of taking as a reference not our own feelings but criticisms and people’s judgments. And then tensions, dizziness, imbalances can emerge, this means that we are not autonomous and it is also a matter of weight distribution, a healthy body is a well-distributed body, a body in balance, its weight is centered but when an imbalance arises psychic in this case the body is no longer central and becomes rigid.

unrecognizable man sitting on rooftop edge against cloudy sundown sky
Photo by Khoa Võ on

Stiffness represents the difficulty in adapting to the world, stiffness can also be felt at the level of the knees, perceiving a difficulty in bending and therefore in adapting and overcoming limits and positions. The knees or their stiffening refer precisely to the difficulty in asking to obtain and satisfy one’s needs, as if these were illegitimate and all this can undermine the quality of our relationships, it becomes precisely in an unfair and therefore castrating way.

The work on weight distribution can come by experimenting with the oscillations of weight from one leg to the other. This is a typical exercise in bioenergetics: you carry the weight on your toes or heels and then walk, you can walk even trying to stay on the tips, or paying attention to the emotions that could emerge from deep inside. A very useful exercise can be, trying to feel how your body reacts in front of walking with your eyes closed, perhaps on a steep level walking on a bottom, it is as if we were drunk … this loss of control illustrates our situations of not easy balance and helps to center us better by also paying attention to breathing and all this can bring out particular experiences that are then analyzed and integrated in order to process these emotions, underlying all these experiences but, then all these shortcomings can be filled only through the self-awareness and acceptance of oneself. Well… my “Guru moment” ends here, thanks for your attention

mental health Narcisism narcissist Relationships