The Wolves in sheep’s clothing
Unlike open narcissists who show their narcissism and flaunt it nonchalantly, the covert narcissist is as if somehow sensed that showing the public their narcissism is not quite productive for them, it is not in their best interest and therefore it hides.
Precisely for this reason they are even more difficult to grasp, they are able to manipulate the people around them much better and they are much more dangerous for people who start a relationship with them.
The narcissist exhibits at least 5 of the following symptoms pervasively
The first trait is, a grandiose sense of self, or an exaggerated sense of one’s own importance.
The second is occupied by fantasies of unlimited success, of power over effects, over others, of beauty, of ideal love.
The third point, he believes he is special and unique and can only be understood by special people and or is overly concerned with seeking closeness and being associated with people of some very high status.
The fourth, requires excessive admiration compared to normal or its real value.
Fifth point, a strong feeling of their rights and faculties. Realistically convinced that other individuals or situations must meet his expectations.
Sixth, he takes advantage of others to achieve his own goals and feels no remorse.
Seventh, point which in my opinion is also one of the most, is always present to ensure that a person is pathological narcissist, lack of empathy, does not notice, does not recognize or does not give importance to the feelings of others, does not want to identify with their desires .
Eight, He often feels envy and is generally convinced that others feel envious of him / her.
Nine, affective mode of predatory type, unbalanced power relations with little personal commitment, wishes to receive more than what it gives.
These criteria were created some time ago, possibly today there are many more updates in the research, it is still an excellent guide to give an idea of a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
What transpires from these criteria is that we have an arrogant, manipulative person who imposes himself on others, who exploits others, without conscience, without remorse, who thinks only of himself, therefore completely selfish, who has only his own interests in mind, which demands too much of others.
All these characteristics are the characteristics of a classic narcissist but now let’s see who the cover narcissist is.
The covert narcissist
The narcissist covert therefore, hides his narcissistic traits and hides them very well, to the point of often appearing the exact opposite of a narcissist. A covert is often confused with an dependent.
He presents himself to the outside world as an extremely good and kind person, as a shy and introverted person, a person with something special but that society cannot understand because he is too far behind him. As a victim of the cruel world who does not understand it and does not and does not respect it.
Often the covert narcissist, in his life, carries out activities that make him a pillar of society, very often voluntary work, social activities perhaps in charity or for the defense of the environment, for the defense of animal rights and other things similar.
Often he finds himself at the center of this type of activity obviously surrounded by co-dependent people who are instead in those activities for genuine reasons.
Be presented as a person of great ethics, who cannot understand why others are unable to reach this level of ethics, a person who gives a lot without receiving anything, in short, when you meet him you would say that you are dealing with a a person with a sensitive soul a generous and extremely empathetic person.
They are masters at feigning empathy, unlike classic overt narcissists who do not tolerate criticism at all, covert narcissists are extremely upset with criticism just like normal narcissists, only they hide their intolerance.
Another very interesting thing and that unlike the classic narcissists who never apologize or almost never, coverts learn very quickly that apologizing keeps them close to their victims and therefore often apologize they are never sincere excuses, but always a game in order to continue to use their victims.
Another manipulative tactic that covert narcissists use a lot, are crying fits, existential crises and crises in general, in which they burst into tears of crying and self-pity. But, if you look very carefully, you notice that those are actually so much a game too, and if you pay close attention, you will notice that while they cry if they think you are not watching, they will check you to see your reaction.
This is only a small part of what a covert narcissist is. I will tell you more in the next post about the covert Narcissist.
That’s it for now! Ciao!